SOO Advisors Institute

Monday night I gave a presentation to the Advisor's Institute, as organized by the Student Organization Office (SOO) of UW–Madison. In preparation, I met with Barb, Eric and Mark of SOO a couple of weeks ago, and after that hour and a half, had enough ideas to create a one- or two-day workshop. And they needed a 45-minute presentation. : ) They asked me to speak on When Your Word Becomes Law, which is one of the Successful Living Seminars offered by the Center for Creative Learning. I fashioned the presentation around concerns that student organization advisors have with students surrounding integrity and accountability.

The institute was held in Gordon Commons, which is the first time I've been in the building since I went to school myself. I checked the status of the deconstruction of Ogg Hall next door--they haven't yet gotten down to 6th Floor West, where I lived as a freshman. One day soon the physical signs of that part of my life will be gone.

I had a great time. At Table 3, I went to the buffet table to get my dinner (in order to eat quickly to present in a few minutes), and discovered upon my return that my water glass had spilled. I first thought I had done it myself, and discovered I hadn't. I shared how spilling of milk, etc., at the dinner table was a big sin when I was a kid, and we laughed at the thought now. I got to know the others at my table as we talked about birth order, and where we all fit.

The presentation itself was also very enjoyable. Despite cramming a lot of information into 45 minutes, I followed the minute markings on my outline and finished right on time--not bad considering I love to talk and could have spent several hours! A memory came up while I was giving an example of breaking something when I was a kid that I hadn't thought of in years; the spontaneity was fun.

After the presentation I encouraged the group to break into smaller groups to practice some role-plays of an advisor holding a student accountable. About a third actually did the role-plays, and the rest had valuable discussion about the issues. I shared my wondering with the group whether those who didn't practice the role-play did so as a way of avoiding holding others accountable, which can be uncomfortable. It also occurred to me that if folks didn't know each other well enough, there may not have been enough emotional safety or comfort to do that type of activity. I'm still curious to find out more about that. : )

During the debrief and Q&A, we had great discussion: folks raised some challenging questions about holding students accountable. I answered some questions, and turned others back to the group, which led to the sharing of wisdom that I knew to be in the room.

Evaluations were positive--people enjoyed the information (new and reminders), the playfulness and energy, and meeting with other advisors and sharing ideas.

I'm very excited for the progress that SOO is making. They will soon be creating a listserve/email list that advisors can use to connect more and share some of this wisdom and experience between group members. And they are doing this during a hiring freeze! They get lots done.

My thanks, once again, to everyone who attended, and to Barb, Eric, Mark and Renee for inviting me to present! I look forward to hearing how the organization continues to develop, and support the students and their organizations into the future.

Cantus!

At church for several months, Pastor Curt Anderson has been talking about a group, Cantus, that will be performing in April. It sounded like it might be good, and I hadn't really planned on attending.

That changed this morning in an instant.

Cantus is a male vocal ensemble from the Twin Cities. They performed three pieces a capella during the service this morning. Exquisite. It was so beautiful I simply wept. There was nothing that was going to stop me from coming to the evening's concert. Josh felt the same way.

So we both went our ways--Josh went home to work while I went on my easy run for the day, did some yardwork, laundry, etc.

We were back at church before 7, where we sat in the second row. Cantus members are all highly trained, professional musicians, and they do this full-time. The songs range from sacred to secular, serious to funny. It was heaven to listen to a group of musicians who sing together, move together, breathe together. Simply flawless. They sang Franz Biebl's Ave Maria, which again had me crying. The piece is gorgeous, and their rendition was out of this world.

While there are nine members, there is no conductor--they are incredibly alive while they sing, and connect with each other visually, constantly looking from one to another, or focusing on whoever is leading at the time. There were countless times where they were looking out front, and still beginning and ending consonants were right on. I was stunned. It's obvious to me that they have sung for so long together that they are just... together.

The concert was a fundraiser for Porchlight, Inc., a Dane County organization whose mission it is to decrease homelessness in Dane County. The Executive Director spoke at the beginning of the intermission, then a fellow who had received help from Porchlight shared his experience (yeah, more tears from me). I was doubly happy we came to the concert.

Afterward, Josh and I bought all five of their CDs, and got at least one signature from each member. They were also very pleasant to meet and visit with. All-around nice guys.

If you ever get the chance to hear them, it would be well worth your while.

Girls Rock!

This is one of the movies that Rachel and I saw during the Wisconsin Film Festival. It was my favorite movie of the festival. It might immediately appear silly, and do not be mistaken: it is a great movie in several respects.

This is a Rock 'n' Roll camp for girls in Seattle. I was expecting a nice feel-good movie, where the participants would be shepherded through a process--no way! These girls learn an instrument in five days if they don't know one, and they have to pick their own bandmates. Nothing about this movie is predigested. The women who staff the camp rock themselves. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

It's currently playing at Sundance Theatres in Madison. I recommend this film to anyone, and any girl or woman who wants to feel more empowered--go see it!

You can also visit the Girls Rock movie website.

Enjoy!

Great Run! and Google Earth

I stayed up a bit late last night playing with Google Earth. It really blows my mind the level of detail that they have all over the world, not to mention when the program "flies" you from one place on Earth to another--I actually felt a bit of vertigo!

I was looking at places where I was in Nepal, even finding a route that very much matched Mary's and mine when when we trekked the Annapurna range in 1990. I uploaded a few images, including some pictures I took at Pearl Harbor when visiting the USS Arizona Memorial Museum. And I was very naughty to stay up as long as I did.

After six hours of sleep I got up and futzed some on the computer, waiting to digest breakfast some so I could go on my run. And what a great run it was! I was a bit intimidated thinking of running 7 miles, but also knew I could do it, even if I had to take my time. Take a peek at the route I ran, if you're interested. My average speed was 5.83 mph (that's a 10:16 mile--I think in mph...). Not bad for a longer run! Now I'm even more confident that I can run the 13.1 miles well.

Josh is busy today, so it's a great opportunity to get lots of stuff done. I'm very behind in laundry, kitchen, and other housework, and I have to work on some other projects and presentations as well before the Varsity Band concert tonight.

And Here's the Half Marathon Route!

I'm totally jazzed about http://www.mapmyrun.com/! I just mapped the route of the Half Marathon as best I could. Here it is:


So now I just gotta keep up with the training! Speaking of which, take a look at my training calendar.

Yee ha!

Last Night's Run

I had a great run last night, which was very welcomed given how much my body hurt on Sunday! My coworker, Libby, turned me on to MapMyRun, which is an AMAZING Site! Here's the map of my workout last night:


I'm super-excited to have this tool to track my training progress! I was using a Google Spreadsheet; this will be even more useful.

McNaughton 10

This past Friday and Saturday my coworker friend, Ryan, ran in the 150-mile McNaughton Park Trail Run in Pekin, IL. Some might think Ryan is a bit nuts, and in this regard I probably wouldn't give much of an argument.

Anyway, months ago he asked if I'd support him in the race. Last year was the first year he ran it, and he had a full crew of folks from work and others come to make sure he had plenty of fluids and solids going in and out of his body, as well as to "pace" him (which means to run along).

I had planned to go down for both days, and with the level that my life showed on the insaninometer, I just couldn't swing both days, so I told Ryan I'd come down on Saturday and possibly run with him (what the hell was I getting myself into!).

I set off at 7 am and had a great, solitary drive down, with the exception of missing the jog on US 39 and needing to call Josh to get new directions--which he sent to my phone as a text message. Parenthetically, I've decided that was the LAST TIME I'm ever going to deal with that: I'm buying a Garmin or TomTom or something. Life is to freaking short to spend time and energy getting lost and following maps. Bah.

I listened to a number of podcasts on the way down, which is a real treat, since I rarely have (OK, take) time to do that. I listened to Grammar Girl for about two of the four hours on the way down. Love it! It had been so long since I'd had a nice, long drive to myself. I'm realizing I'm a bit more introverted than perhaps I thought I was.

OK, OK, I'll get on with the story. I arrived around 11:30 or Noon and looked for anyone I'd recognize. Uh, I didn't recognize anyone. Eventually Ryan ran through, and I believe Mike was just finishing a 10-mile loop with him (this must have been mile 110). Several of Ryan's friends and coworkers, as well as associates from WTCA and other athletes were there to support him. I brought my gear down, and by God I was going to use it. I guess... I got dressed and did little warm-up, and Ryan was on his way in! He didn't stop, and Steve, John and I started the next loop with him--this was at mile 120.

Let me back up for a moment and describe the day. Cold. Rainy. Windy. Some might say miserable, and I would be in their numbers. Before getting ready to run I'd had all of my clothes on that I'd brought. I paid the folks $10 to eat some food; they did a pretty good job of it. It was a relief to start running and warm up!

The loop started with a downhill mud ski. I'm not really exaggerating. There were three different races going on at this point: the 50-, 100-, and 150-mile--that was a lot of footfalls on the soggy ground! I don't think Steve and John expected much, as they remarked that I was nimbler than they anticipated. It's nice to surprise people. They're both runners. Well, more serious than I, anyway.

We were probably running 5 mph, which is a comfortable pace for me. John and I ran out front for a good part of the lap while Steve stayed back with Ryan. There are several way stations along the way, which was good since I'd not drunk enough fluid before starting.

I would estimate that MOST of the route is NOT on flat land: most of it is going through very hilly woods. As we approached one downhill, it occurred to me that it didn't look as much like a trail as it did an object d'art: the ground was complete mud, and there were long trails of feet sliding in it. It reminded me of a clay sculpture, or perhaps an oil painting with really think swaths of oil painted on the canvas. It was actually quite beautiful... to look at anyway; a moment later I attempted to run or walk or at least not fall in it. I did fall once, although I caught myself so didn't get too much dirty. However, the shoes were getting completely muddified.

We were all falling down. Steve fell right on his rear end at one point; luckily he didn't hurt himself. Ryan fell down eight times in my time with him. At about mile 8 he fell on a grassy, muddy hill and just lay there for a moment. Finally he said quite simply, and perhaps a bit weakly, "That hurt." Ryan's not very flower in general, and his straight-talking is more pronounced after he's run several tens of miles.

At some points the trail was simply wild: steep hills (there was actually a rope tied to a tree at one point!), logs over ravines and little streams, and even some fairly well-made footbridges.

The sheer ten miles was weighing on me; add in the terrain and it was pretty grueling, actually. I've been running for a couple months: 3x/week, about 4-5 miles each at 5.5 to 6.5 mph. On a treadmill I don't have to pay much attention to all the stabilizing muscles in the legs, and especially around the knees and ankles. That was MOST of the concentration during this lap! I became reacquainted with some muscles that I hadn't had good conversation or lunch with in a while.

Oh, I haven't yet mentioned the river that needed to be crossed. Twice. The first time was, oh, around mile 4 or so. While it was cold it was actually fairly refreshing on the feet. It was only about two feet deep, and my shoes were comfortably dry within about half a mile or a mile. We crossed a much deeper stretch of water at about mile 9 or so. That was too late in the game to allow me to dry off before finishing the lap.

Mile 7

I would estimate that at about mile 7 or 8 I was in as much pain as Ryan. Maybe not as much fatigue (he'd started running Friday at noon and this lap was 3:30 to 6 pm Saturday), but he's in much better shape than I--I was really give my body a pounding at this point.

About the last five miles I ran behind Ryan while Steve and John ran 100 yards or so ahead. I had several things to focus on: keeping my body relaxed with good form so it would continue to function, not running into Ryan (oh that would have been bad), being careful where I step to not twist anything, and supporting Ryan. A lot of it was small talk, some questions and talk about the race itself, and from time to time I would discuss things having nothing to do with the present moment, just to give us both a mental break. I also gave him plenty of encouragement, as during this lap he was in third place, and he was focusing on catching up to second. I noticed he was touching is right leg, and when I asked he informed me it was getting tighter and tighter (Hm. I work on my own IT bands...). So I had him imagine it relaxing.

Mile 9

After we crossed the last river around mile 9 I was beginning to have difficulty keeping up with Ryan. I was afraid I was going to pay for this later. There was a funny (or something) little moment when I was on my way up a hill in deep mud when I almost lost my shoe--I caught it just in time, although I did have to stop and retie it, then catch up to Ryan. Luckily, we walked up all of the steep hills; otherwise I wouldn't have been able to do it.

I also encouraged Ryan to keep up a good pace, and I could feel it every time he accelerated. I told him that I promised I'd run with him... every time he'd run 120 miles first. That makes us fairly evenly matched for a while. Am I really this old?

I don't dare make myself sound heroic in this blog, since I was running 1/15th the distance of Ryan, yet in my condition I will say I was getting to the point of running on sheer guts and determination. My legs hurt and I was running out of gas. I told Ryan in the last mile that I was going to leave after this lap. I didn't see much sense in staying since there was no way in HELL I would going to be able to do more running (or even walking), and cheering him on for 5 seconds between laps made no sense. He was also scheduled to finish around 11 or later, and it just didn't make sense. He was OK with that.

On the way up the last hill before the straightaway to the finish I told him to go get #2 and have a great race. When we high the straightaway he put on a burst of speed as two things happened, I think: he saw the finish line (for that lap) and all the folks there, and he also saw #2 ahead of him. I forget the guys name, but he looked like he was having difficulty. At this point, I was done. Perhaps I could have gone for some adrenaline and kept up with Ryan, but there was really no point, and I would have been damaging my body worse that I already had. So I finished the last hundred yards and crossed the finish line outside the actual finish area, which I believe was customary.

Completion of the McNaughton 10

It didn't seem all that significant at the time, and I realized later that I think that was probably the longest I'd ever run. I can't remember if we ever ran 10 miles in a cross country practice when I was in high school. Hey--I'd just run 10 miles! That's a pretty good accomplishment!

I think Ryan stopped and got some food and drink, and Randy had his headlamp on in preparation for the oncoming darkness. Ryan changed some clothes and off they went.

I went for food and sat by the fire. My pants were still wet, as were my feet, and I had no intention of being any more uncomfortable than I already was. I sat next to a young fellow who wasn't wearing much considering the conditions, and was shaking. I asked how he was doing, and he said OK: just having a hard time with his core temperature. He'd finished the 50-miler earlier. I got him some soup; I was concerned that he was headed toward hypothermia. Sure enough, a few minutes later the shaking became more pronounced. I got a blanket and put it around him, talking to him (to ensure he was lucid). He stopped shaking after a while. I consider that my second good deed for the day.

I hadn't taken many pictures, and left the camera with instructions with Mike, so that he could take pictures later. I changed into dry clothes (oh my, how nice!), had a bit more food (hey, I can eat whatever the hell I WANT after that!), got in my car and left. I ran Ryan's miles 120-130, and he had 20 miles left. We discussed that while we were running, and we decided that he could do anything two more times.

At Mike's suggestion I stopped after driving about 30 minutes to go to the bathroom and stretch. The only problem was it was cold in the rest stop--what's the point of stretching in the cold? None. So I got in the car and drove on.

I listened to four hours of Grammar Girl. I guess I'm a huge grammar geek, yet I loved it! I did stop once to get gas, and just drove. I love driving at night. It's so nice to have the solitary time and not be able to do anything else--as though I need an excuse to relax. However, something about that setting allows my mind to truly relax.

I got out of the car when I got home around 10:30 and could barely walk. It was painful--especially my left knee and hip. Josh came over and we sat in the hot tub for a while (something is wrong with the pump--sigh) and went to bed.

Epilogue: Half-Marathon Anyone?

I was in fairly serious pain, although Advil helped a lot. I felt much better pretty quickly, and was giving something a great deal of thought: If I can run in that **** for 10 miles, a half-marathon (13.1 miles) on flat road would be a piece of cake! So I signed up for the Madison Half Marathon on 5/25, the Sunday before Memorial Day. My coworker Libby and her two friends (who are also friends of Josh's) are also going to be running it. Josh will be at the finish taking pictures. Oh, and I believe the race registration was the first time I listed him as my emergency contact. :-)

I found a training schedule for half-marathons, and while I'm starting too late, I've created yet another Google calendar (I now have 10 that I've created, along with the 10 I have included) in which I've placed the training schedule. Hell, even if I didn't do anything beyond the running I'm already doing, I'm sure I'd be fine. However, I'm excited about this endeavor! I'm sure I'll be blogging more about it, so stay tuned.

As always, comments are appreciated.

Wisconsin Film Festival So Far

This is Rachel writing in our "Analog Database" of reviews during lunch on Saturday - she suggested that we keep a single notebook of our reviews and write them separately. She tends to summarize the movie and give a few impressions, where I go solely with impressions and opinions.

Here we are at the Majestic before seeing Garbage Warriors. They started the wrong movie (something Italian with subtitles), so the movie started 30 minutes late. We had time to snarf down a sandwich at Michelangelo's, where I Jotted the last blog entry.

This was our reaction to the wrong movie starting...

This is the final image of the intro that they play before each film. Such great music and great graphics! They are so incredibly creative with all of this stuff. One of the sayings they have on the back of the shirts is:

Keeping You in the Dark for 10 Years.

How funny is THAT?

We have five more films to see tomorrow. All kidding aside, sitting through 15 films (16 for me) is a bit physically grueling, especially with some of the aweful chairs in some of these theatres. Good thing we're hardcore...

Saturday during the Film Fest

Rachel and I have seen 3 films so far. The first one was Wisconsin shorts the second was The Girls Rock, which was awesome. The 3rd one was Garbage Warrior, which we both enjoyed a lot. Right now we are grabbing a couple of Sandwiches on State Street before going to number 4. We are having a good day, although sitting is getting a bit tough and the chairs are not comfortable, but we are hardcore enough to stick it out. We are having fun. listen

Powered by Jott

Wisconsin Film Festival - Hardcore!

Rachel and I have already been to the first three films that we're going to see at the Wisconsin Film Festival. We are now standing outside Orpheum Theater in order to see film number four. We can't wait. It's our last film for the night and we start again tomorrow, when we will see six films, more later. Listen to this Jott

Powered by Jott

Team Building Fun(d)raiser!

I'm taking part in a weekend at the Center for Creative Learning called Power of Team. As the title suggests, the focus of the weekend is to learn how to work more powerfully on teams. Our team has a monetary goal that you can help us meet in a fun way - yet only from Noon until 5:30 pm, Sunday, March 30! We will call the person of your choice and sing a song for them (at least one verse and chorus) or tell them a couple of jokes, and end the call with a personal message from you or an affirmation.

The cost for this service is $5 per call, minimum order of $10. Because payment must be received during the afternoon, we are accepting credit cards, and the minimum payment we can submit is $10. So, send your love (or whatever ;o}) to a couple friends, or get serenaded yourself!

So, let me know if you'd like a song or two sung on your behalf! You can email me at my gmail address (turn jay edgar at gmail dot com into an email address - no spaces) or you can call my cell at 608-212-2851. I'll need to know:

• The name of the person to receive the song
• Their phone number (US only)
• The song you would like sung (we have a few selections, and you can request any song as long as I know the tune!)
• The message or affirmation you'd like at the end of the call
• Whether you want your name announced, or to keep it anonymous!
• I'll also need your payment information - do NOT email this to me - phone or voicemail are both secure! Include:
  
  • Credit card number (major cards)
  • Expiration date
  • Name on the card
  • 3-digit number on the back.

Feel free to email me all but the credit card information - you can call me separately with that. Orders must be received by 5:30 pm, and will be fulfilled ASAP. Any orders that cannot be filled in time will not be charged.

This is going to be a lot of fun! We hope you can join us.

Fun Today at 12:30 pm!

Something special is happening today at 12:30. I can't tell you what it is, and I can tell you it will be a lot of fun! Sorry to be mysterious - I'm following the rules of the game.

Please come back here at 12:30 (1 pm latest) to learn more. I hope you can join me!

A Single Question

This question came to mind as I was emailing back and forth with my friend, Di:

What is it called if you recline again?

The mind fairly boggles.

An Historic, Monumental Occasion

On February 7, 1995, I bought my first computer. I totally forgot, until I checked Quicken to find the date, that I got a loan from my boss to get it, which I paid off for over a year. And isn't it interesting that 12 years after that day I met Josh? Anyway...

Probably the next day (for some reason my emails only go back to 1998) I got my first email. Oh the joy! Oh the wonder! Oh the fabulous possibilities! I couldn't GET enough email! Please, oh please send me email! Let me learn about this strange new world!

A few months after this I received an email from my friend Chester, completely out of the blue. I had no idea he even had a computer. Chester had been living in Bay Area of California, and I hadn't heard from him very much. It was a wonderful way to reconnect with him.

I forget exactly how many computers I've owned, although that's a bit confusing. Judging from Quicken, I updated my motherboard in 1998 (January - would that have been for Windows 98?), and I think that was the first OS I installed from CD (oh the speed! Oh the convenience! This is AMAZING!). It then appears I built a computer in 2001 - I'm guessing with my friend Matt's help. And in 2006 I built the computer I'm using at this moment, again with Matt's suggestions for hardware.

I've learned a lot about computers all this time, to the point that I build my own machines and do all the maintenance a slightly-above-average geek can do.

And during all this time, the emails have been coming in. And coming in. And coming in...

It reminds me of my first "real" job, which is the job I still have today at Qualtim, which I've had for 17 years (does anyone DO that anymore?). After a few months, it was just my boss, Kirk, and me. And we took over administration of WTCA, then called the Wood Truss Council of America, but now called WTCA - Representing the Structural Building Components Industry (why do I still need to look that up after two years?). When we first took over, I turned from proto-geek to full geek: I created a timesheet and invoicing program in Excel so that they didn't have to be done by hand any longer. I taught myself about relational databases and built my first one to run the association. It handled company and individual information, membership data, orders, shipping, and much more. I first created it in Lotus Approach (oh the days...), and then re-created it in Microsoft Access. The timesheet/invoicing program was then re-created in Access, with a bit of help from my friend Brad. The data was then ported to SQL Server. Today that program is called "Main," and is the backbone of our organization.

When I was 23 and first creating these systems, I was high as a kite. I was learning a lot, and to have all that responsibility for a nation-wide association was quite a kick! I built the data and procedural foundations for what is today a multi-million dollar organization!

However, as time went on, the shine fell off the apple a bit: I soon realized that along with that joy and prestige (?) came a lot of responsibility. And that responsibility got heavier, and heavier... and heavier. I learned that the lack of documenting was going to lead to serious issues: first, I have a horrible memory, and while I can figure out code pretty quickly, it still wastes time. The larger danger, however, is that if I were "hit by a bus" (a phrase we have used consistently over the years), others would have a really difficult time figuring out some of the--shall we say--"elegant" solutions I'd created. I felt like Ebinezer Scrooge's cohort Bob Marley, who dragged the chains behind him after death - that's what Main felt like at times. Even today, when we have three programmers on staff, I'm still the only one who takes forays into Main to make updates, etc. Others have gone in over time, and none of them are with us any longer.

Let's get back to the topic at hand: email. During all of those database adventures, the emails continued to pile in. There were long stretches of time that I didn't delete email from my inbox, to the point of having thousands of emails. Because I was becoming an instructor with the Center for Creative Learning, I found it necessary to get more organized, so I cleaned out the inbox, leaving only those tasks that needed to be done, responded to, etc. And I flagged emails that were of greater urgency: red being most, then yellow then orange, purple is for info only, and green is for whatever else.

And my inbox began feeling heavier, and heavier... and heavier. In the early '90s I used to be BORED, not having enough to fill my time! Oh how I've yearned for those days, or at least a short visit of that feeling (that feeling was one of my three goals on vacation, along with eating and sleeping). In the past 10 years, life has felt more full than I like, at times being really stressful. I worked for 9 years at 3/4 time, taking most Wednesdays off. Then when I bought my house in 2004 I figured I'd better work full time to "support the house" - stupidest thing I ever did. The next three years were miserable, and I went back to 3/4 time last year. Although by then I had Josh in my life, so any vacuum I created was more than filled.

And all along, my inbox has been a focal point. A metaphor for my too-full life. An anchor. At times an enemy. I had a vision of a free and easy life, where I'd get up on a warm Spring morning with a smile on my face, have a Zen breakfast on the back patio (please pronounce "PAH tio" or "PAH chio" if you like), do some reading, BREEEEATHING all the way. And I'd be able to do that because my inbox (hear low cellos from a horror music score here) would be empty. I MUST EMPTY MY INBOX! But how? There are too many things to do! TOO TOO MUCH!

Well, sometimes adequate pressure is required to bring about change. Last December I was stressed out and had an epiphany: I cannot process all of the educational emails that come in as a result of my instructing work. I still had emails that I had to finish reading from 1998! I set up a system for the instructors to save that information for reference when needed, and get it the heck outta my inbox! At that point I got it down to eight emails, and was on top of the world. And immediately thereafter it began growing again. My decided limit at that point was a screen-full of emails. I soon surpassed that mark.

The pressure built again until the end of last month, when I added more decisions to my earlier epiphany: I cannot say 'yes' to as many things as I was. I love to please people (I'm actually quite compliant in personality), yet doing so gets me into trouble, i.e., not having a life. So I sent an email to the Instructor body of CCL informing them that I was going to focus my efforts on areas where my value is greatest, and leave some things for others to do. And I have been: when an eBook was being created, I only gave it a quick read-through, and didn't do a SINGLE edit, which, with my desire to have things "Just so," was a huge success in and of itself. Others were surprised by this (lack of) behavior on my part, which meant the success was serious.

This brings me (now us, since you've been reading this long [you still there? really? not bored yet?]) to last week, where I (trumpet fanfare) REMOVED THE LAST EMAIL FROM MY INBOX.

Have you ever had one of those moments where something monumental happens, and you don't fully appreciate it until later? An unpleasant example I had that was comparable was cutting the end off of my fingernail with some of the quick a few weeks ago: I realized immediately what happened, but then sat and looked at it to really assess how bad it was (it wasn't that bad - not a mark on me today). Or walking across the stage to graduate, or many other life-changing events. Does it sounds silly to compare these things to an inbox? If it does, I haven't adequately communicated the significance of the feeling.

I'd lived for so long with my inbox having "something for me to do" - say 13 years? - that I was literally disoriented. It felt for a moment like I was looking at my Junk Folder, which I always empty immediately. There was nothing there to do. I imagine it felt something like having a dog die who was always peeing on the carpet, barking at the neighbors, chewing up shoes, and being generally unlikeable. Yet when he died, there was an empty place.

Well, this is where that analogy ends, because emails still come in, unlike the dog that won't be coming back to life any time soon. It takes resolve and focus to keep my inbox empty, and I've got the systems in place to do it: things get passed off to others, scheduled, or filed with a reminder now. And it feels REALLY GOOD.

This morning felt really good, in fact. I got up with a smile on my face (petting Raja for a while is good for that), made my simple bed, walked across the bamboo flooring to open the blinds, then put on my robe and made some 10-grain cereal. I've responded to a few emails or scheduled things, and deleted or filed them. All. ALL of them. There's nothing in my inbox right now. How does it feel?



As always, your comments, even if just "I was here!" are welcome.

Vacation

Well, I said I'd add blog entries during vacation. I overestimated what I wanted to do - I was on vacation! So here's a run-down of the trip.

See the photo album of the trip.

Mike, Jerry & Their Art

We stayed in Cathedral City (next to Palm Springs) with Josh's Uncle Mike and Mike's partner Jerry. They own a beautiful home up in Cathedral Canyon with a back yard that's like an oasis. On the side of the house is the "Artists' studio," including a garage where Mike does much of the work on his stainless steel sculptures. Mike created a sculpture for Cathedral City, which has become the logo for the city.

Next to the garage under a lean-to roof and under tarps (it is the desert) sits Jerry's glass-blowing equipment: a furnace that holds hundreds of pounds of molten glass; a "glory hole," where work in progress is placed to heat it back up for more shaping; and the oven where finished products are placed. This oven is programmed to reduce the temperature of completed pieces by about one degree a minute, so that the glass doesn't shatter due to varying rates of cooling within the piece--normally over night.

As stated in the previous entry, Josh and I watched Jerry create four pieces or so with Mike's help during our stay. It's an absolutely fascinating process requiring lots of skill, patience, strength and tolerance of heat! See my Picasa Album that shows the process - fascinating!

See the process Mike uses in his work. Also see his web page.

I had lots of fun visiting with them with Josh. We often sat on the back porch talking or doing the NYT crossword puzzles. We learned a lot from them about the area and the people. Both of them are Midwest boys who are now fully desert, and have no interest in living in cold again. I can understand why after being there during the winter, during which the temperatures ranged from 55° at night to 70 or 75° during the day.

Josh and I stayed in their guest room, which has the single-largest bed I've ever slept in (it was a King); Josh and I joked about each having a county to sleep in, and having to call out to find the other during the night. The house has a fascinating lighting system that runs on 12v, with wall plates that have 4 or 6 buttons to press. Until we learned them, it was a little game of "press the button and see what turns on - or off!"

Mike & Jerry have two cats, Doris and Sally. These girls are attached to their daddies, so we didn't get lots of love from them. We loved 'em anyway.

Transportation

As stated in a previous post, the "compact car" we picked up at Enterprise upon our arrival was a Ford F-150 with a full back seat and four doors! While it was a guilty pleasure to drive, it burned 1 gallon in 9 miles of travel. Not very suitable for our trip to San Diego. We drove it for a couple of days, and traded it in before that trip for a mid-size car.

An Evening of Two of the Deadly Sins

Saturday night Mike got some comps from the Agua Caliente Casino, where he spends some leisure time, for dinners at their buffet. When Mike & Jerry asked what we wanted to do on vacation, my answer was "eat... sleep... eat some more... sleep some more..." So eat we did, and chalk off "gluttony" as being accomplished.

After dinner we wandered around the casino where Mike played some slot machines. Josh and I were impressed that, while there was smoking in the casino, it wasn't very smokey - they must have a good ventilation system. Mike played for a while on several different machines, and blithely won an amount of money that I would consider "significant." He seems more invested in having fun than winning, and informed us that over his career at the casino, it's pretty much break even. It was interesting to watch. I'm not sure if that qualifies as "greed," although I could definitely see some of that around me while we were there.

A Walk in the Desert

I think it was Monday that Josh and I went out to the Coachella Valley Preserve, which is a series of Oases that run along the San Andreas fault line (not a mere coincidence - that's where the water comes from). We started at the visitor's center, which was a little log cabin built by the men who stayed there originally. We then hiked through the desert, which took over an hour. We got more of an appreciation for how alive the desert is, when there doesn't appear to be much life there. They do a good job of marking plants with their names here and there, and we saw a few lizards and many birds. It was actually pretty warm - it felt about 80° to me.

The Sex Lives of Dates

We went to Shields Date Farm, which produces 95% of the dates grown in the United States (either they do, or in that area...). We first went to their theatre, where we watched THE ROMANCE & SEX LIFE OF THE DATE, which gives the history of date farming in California. The title was quite provocative in its day. They have lots of samples of the many different dates they grow - we bought some to bring home. They also have Date Shakes, made from minced dates in a vanilla shake - we split one, which was plenty. Very tasty!

Church

Before we left, I mentioned to a fellow at church where we were going. Apart from the coincidence that he was also going there at about the same time (as was another friend!), he suggested we visit the Bloom in the Desert UCC church while there. BIDT holds services in a multi-purpose room at the YMCA in Palm Springs. We arrived a bit early, and were very impressed with our greeting: Mike gave us a hug when we came in, and a woman (Diane?) made name tags for us. There were probably 60 or 70 people in attendance. A talented man played an electronic keyboard, and a woman of Asian descent sang some really beautiful music--both are clearly classically trained. The service was familiar enough for us to be comfortable, yet there were some significant differences that we found really refreshing. The pastor, Kevin Johnson, gave a very provocative sermon (what they call "Commentary") that we really enjoyed. We stayed afterward to visit for a while, then got a recommendation for good Mexican food and were on our way.

More Food

We ate at several wonderful restaurants while there. At church someone suggested we go to El Gallito for lunch. Well, they weren't open on Sunday, so we ended up going to Sunrise Cafe, which was quite good, and the waitstaff were a lot of fun. Mike and Jerry also took us to La Tablita, which is, by far, the best Mexican food I have had in my life. This is a family-owned restaurant, and the food is thoughtfully and skillfully prepared. I had chicken enchiladas, which weren't simply enchiladas slapped with sauce and cheese. The flavors were wonderful, and the "fresh cheese" placed on the dish was delicious!

We also ate at a Middle-Eastern restaurant, the name for which I can't remember, on Hwy 111 that was really good. The owner (I think) gave us the recipe for the Labne (a yogurt-based dish) that was great.

Trip to San Diego

Josh and I said goodbye to the F-150 and got a mid-sized car that had an 1/8th-inch jack so that we could plug in our mp3 players. (I won't mention where we purchased the male-to-male 1/8th inch cord for this - we're too ashamed.)

Josh drove most of the way down. It was very windy in the canyon as we left Palm Springs - the car was being buffeted about. We drove past the thousands of windmills that take advantage of this wind.

We stopped at an "am/pm" gas station to get gas and go to the bathroom. After our next experience with an am/pm, we decided to not use them again: they charge $.45 to use a debit card, and the bathrooms are disgusting (to put it mildly). Let me simply say that whoever used the bathroom before me should probably get some sort of medical attention...

When we got into SD we went directly to Balboa Park, which contains several different kinds of museums and other interesting things to visit. We went to the Timkin and San Diego Museum of Art, both of which were fantastic. We took a couple pictures where allowed in the latter, including the picture I call "the Partying Mary." Josh's threshold for museums is MUCH higher than mine--luckily we were done about the same time.

We also visited the Botanical Building, which is a stunning fairly-open structure containing lots of tropical plants. Also the Japanese Friendship Garden, which was very beautiful and serene - amazing inside the park.

We met Josh's friend Neil after he got home from work, as well as their little dogs Shorty and Tabo (tahbo). Neil gave us a brief walking tour while walking the dogs. His house is a beautiful arts and crafts home near the park. Later we picked up his partner David and the four of us went to Moe's for dinner, where we started with Kettle Chips with minced and caramelized garlic (Yum!) then moved on to stuffed burgers and such. We had a very interesting discussion on politics, and the two of them described the mindset of Californians, some of which I wouldn't enjoy very much. More on this below.

They put us up in the guest room, including the bed with the tempurpedic topper - I felt as comfortable as home. More visiting the next morning, and we took off around 8:30 or so.

Hotel Del Coronado

Mike & Jerry suggested we go down to Coronado during this sub-trip to visit the Hotel Del Coronado, which is historic, beautiful and very expensive. We walked along the beach, then toured inside the hotel. After more walking around the area, we came back for lunch. Instead of the buffet (we didn't feel like spending $21 each on it), we grabbed a sandwich and salad and sat on the veranda overlooking the ocean. The sun was warm, and we had a wonderful time talking. It was entertaining to watch all the "money" walk by. Clear purses seem to be all the rage right now.

We then hopped in the car and drove down the coast, past the large naval installation and a big 'antenna' comprised of a building with a series of high poles around it connected by wire, etc. We walked out on a huge pier about as far south as we could go, then decided it was time to go "home." Since we got there by verbal direction, we didn't necessarily know the best way to get back. Josh suggested we take 4th Street; I didn't take his suggestion. Had I done so, I wouldn't have wasted a few minutes discovering he was right. More on this below, too.

Thoughts and Conclusions

This vacation was absolutely necessary for me. Life has been so incredibly hectic, which is such a surprise for February! It was nice to sleep a lot (we napped often) and just spend time together.

Work Ethic
Based on what we learned about Southern California, I doubt I'd want to live there. Neil, David, Mike and Jerry all gave us information about folks who live there: after telling them about roofing my house and gutting Josh's bathroom Memorial Day Weekend, Neil said that one could invite friends over for such a thing two months in advance and get yeses all the way, yet when the day arrived no one else would. He once asked a coworker to come help him move some rocks at his house, and got as a response, "how much are you going to pay me?" There is an apparent huge lack of integrity when comparing what people say they will do and what they actually do--after my work for 15 years in Taking It Lightly, I'm sure this would drive me nuts. My personal theory about this is: why should anyone feel they have to do hard work when they can hire someone (namely Mexican immigrants) to do it?

It's Not Sustainable!
Throughout the trip, the title was Josh's hue and cry, not that I disagreed with him. There are so many Midwesterners who have come here to live that they are changing the climate by growing grass and plants that don't belong in the desert. Josh and I are both attracted more to lusher, more humid climates than the desert--I found it interesting that I was drier there (nose, etc.) than I am in Wisconsin during the winter!

Us
The trip was completely effortless in terms of Josh's and my being together for seven days. I figured as much, and this was the most extended time we've been together. We are both in a wonderful place where things that used to matter (to me, anyway) years ago no longer do. For instance, I described above not taking Josh's suggestion about getting back from Coronado, only to find his suggestion was right on. Josh knew he was right at the time, and let me discover it for myself. When I finally did, he didn't say anything; instead, I said, "you were RIGHT, oh so RIGHT, everything about you was RIGHT," etc. We both were laughing. He joked, "You need to say one more thing." ?? oh: "I was WRONG WRONG WRONG, you were RIGHT." He then stated I only needed to say it once. We both cackled with laughter. The joke is so not who we are, and it's fun to play with. We don't get stressed out about missed turns (which I did several times, including one that caused us to walk much longer one night than we wanted) or other mistakes. I joked before the trip that we would have enough time to get sick of each other, and only the opposite was true. We love to play and make bad jokes together (he excels at this), and are about as perfectly suited as I can tell in terms of food, values, interests, etc.

I'm a pretty lucky guy, and heck, he is too.

See the photo album of the trip.

Artistry

Today we watched Mike and Jerry both do their art. Mike worked on some stainless steel and Jerry with some glass. I've never watched glass blowing before. It was actually quite an intense experience. Emotional, exciting with problems cropping up and being solved, and instant decisions needing to be made. After that we had lunch, took a nap and Jerry took us on a hike up in Cathedral Canyon, which was quite beautiful. We're now showering and getting ready to go out for dinner. listen

Powered by Jott

Arriving in Palm Springs

Josh and I just landed in Palm Springs and we are getting our rental car. It's a huge Ford Truck. It's got 27 miles on it. No one has rented it yet. This is going to be a very interesting vacation. We are paying economy prices for it, which is fun. However, before we go to San Diego, we are going to trade in for a smaller car.

More to come. listen

Powered by Jott

On my way home...

I'm on my way home from church after stopping at Borders to buy the first Bible that I've owned many years. It's such an interesting spiritual journey that I'm on right now. So many conflicts, so many questions, and I must say I'm enjoying the ride. listen

Powered by Jott

Jott

This is a very interesting post. I'm creating it by talking into my cell phone I'm using a new service called jott--that's http://www.jott.com/. It allow you to simply talk into your cell phone and it will send an e-mail, update your Google calendar, start a blog entry, and several other really valuable functions. Give it a try--I think you might like it! listen

Powered by Jott, edited by me...

Nice Weekend

I'm funny sometimes. Josh and I were hosting a friend couple for dinner and games at my house Friday night. I had it in my schedule on three separate days to clean the house. Too tired the first, and didn't feel like it the second. I ended up doing it Saturday - the day of.

Anyway, I made a great stew with seitan (I had vegehoovians in the house) and cleaned like a crazy man. A little window into my psyche: I cleaned all of the obvious stuff, and ended up doing things like thoroughly cleaning my nightstand, etc.

I put the stew on too late, so I had to throw it into the pressure cooker in two batches to get it done. It turned out perfectly - even I was impressed. A recipe of my own making. I also made cornbread for the Moosewood book. Yum. I just had time to cut my hair and shower after Josh arrived and putting the cornbread in the oven before our friends arrived.

Great dinner, wonderful games. We played Hoopla, which my sister Jane just gave us. Very fun! We also played, of course, Settlers of Catan, which Josh and I both like. After our friends left, I threw stuff in the dishwasher and set it to go. I love having a clean kitchen - it doesn't happen as often as I'd like.

Josh and I both slept poorly last night. He left a bit after 7 am to get home to work on a cabinet with his brother, and I slept in, then went to church. People were surprised to see me there without Josh - I think it was the second time I'd went there alone. Nice service and sermon on the bent reed and dim wick.

I came home, shoveled, and finished the kitchen. Lunch and a nap. Worked on the third bedroom - replacing the light switches with new white ones, and removing the casings from the doorway and closet.

Dinner and now futzing on the computer. With our first anniversary coming up, I went back and read the first couple weeks of Josh's and my email correspondence (anyone who knows me won't be surprised to know I save all email correspondence). So interesting to read. Even though a year isn't a very long time, a lot has developed between Josh and me in that time. It's nice to see where we started.

Off to do more work on the bedroom.